My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
