He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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