I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
