Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
