She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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