I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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