***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this boner is exhausting
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
