just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
