dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
