so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
