Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize