I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just had sex on a roof
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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