no, he came in my armpit
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
