I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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