just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
NoShamevember. You game?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
