can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
