What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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