i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
