my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
