I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
