We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
