problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
