I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
