it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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