it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
you never un-have a 4some
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
