Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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