yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
