I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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