I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
