Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
