im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
