Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
