You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize