that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
