thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
