he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
