Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
