i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
