i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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