You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When are your genitals available?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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