i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
