Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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