Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
