I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
