you traded sex for a burrito?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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