D3 body, D1 cock
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
