My ATM looks so different sober.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize