Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
