She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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