i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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