i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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