Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize