I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
