It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
