I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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