How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
