I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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