Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
