idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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