There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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