i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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