True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize