You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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