You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Im part way to drunk.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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