She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize