I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
