Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize