Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
