6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
