you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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