Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
