i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
