I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
