Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
